OSCAR NOMINATIONS 2010

So finally the climax of Hollywood's awards season is coming to a nearer end with the announcement of the academy awards nominations for films released in 2009. now this years nominations were a little more exciting then the ones before. the big wigs at the Oscar claim now that they have gone all 'old school' by choosing ten best picture nominees Rather then the usual five, this really means that they are desperate for more views as this will mean that more people will tune in to see if there best film will snatch the top prize. IT'S OBVIOUS YOU WANT MORE VIEWS!!!! don't lie to us that your trying to go back to the 'golden age'.

Anyway I want to go through all the noms (the ones we care about any way) and say who SHOULD...but won't win for many reasons. lets start with the ladies

SUPPORTING ACTRESS

• Penélope Cruz in “Nine”: always have to turn on the subtitles every time she talks...reminds me how i flopped Spanish based on this i don't want her to win adios!!
  
• Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air” four letters M.I.L.F. doesn't mean she should win though
  
• Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart” haven't seen the film...but if she wins i will do a joker
  
• Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air” A geek's wet dream
  
• Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” SHOULD WIN!! AND WILL WIN!!...shes still fat though

SUPPORTING ACTOR

• Matt Damon in “Invictus” TEAM America destroyed my ability to watch him for more then five minutes without laughing
  
• Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger” don't know don't care...simples
  
• Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station” haven't seen the film looks like Charles Darwin if he was a crackhead
  
• Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones” SHOULD WIN but won't...he's our friendly neighbour hood paedophile
  
• Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds” WILL WIN...if only he was my language teacher might of made me like cruz more :(

LEADING ACTRESS

• Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” POSH: oh i do love a film were a white person comes to the rescue of this young negro...FUCK OFF
  
• Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”won't say anything to Helen she is the QUEEN BEE
  
• Carey Mulligan in “An Education” SHOULD WIN BUT WON'T, reminds me of the privite school girl who went out with black guys to piss 'daddy ' off
  
• Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” good debut performance...i will lay off the fat jokes but next nomination!!
  
• Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia” boyence of the world of acting nominated for showing up.

LEADING ACTOR

• Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” sounded like he was on the verge of lung cancer :P
  
• George Clooney in “Up in the Air” Clooney playing clooney yawn
  
• Colin Firth in “A Single Man” SHOULD WIN BUT WON'T didn't know firth having a total BF (bitch fit) over a dead boyfriend would be so entertaining
  
• Morgan Freeman in “Invictus” seen better mandala impressions on the Muppet's
  
• Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker” he's a PRICK!!! what is he going to do put a bomb in my car ahahah....oh yeah

DIRECTING (personal favorite)

• “Avatar” James Cameron okay i got nothing against blue people i went out with a blue chick from Poland but come onnnn
  
• “The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow SHOULD WIN AND WILL!! being historic it will also bring the funniest headline...'ex wife beats ex husband'
  
• “Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino MAKE ANOTHER SHIT FILM AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER I DARE YOUR MAKE ANOTHER SHIT FILM!
  
• “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels would be HAPPY if he wins historic but it's not his year this year sorry
  
• “Up in the Air” Jason Reitman...needs a haircut (thats the best I could come up with his dad is a legend leave me alone!!)

BEST PICTURE

• “Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers visually stunning, but could be compared to a hot girl who can only talk about how much she loves the Saturdays...empty and shallow
  
• “The Blind Side” Nominees to be determined hey hey I'm black me no read save me sandra ballocks...no
  
• “District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers SHOULD WIN BUT WON'T... best film of these lot really captures the political and social situation in south Africa... and Sandra ballocks is in two best picture films shes a great alien should of been nominated for that.
  
• “An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers something that is going to make me poor for the rest of my life:(
  
• “The Hurt Locker” Nominees to be determined okay when bigelow makes a film about bombs = oscars...when I make a film about bombs = MI6 most wanted list...is that fair?
  
• “Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer okay this film is cool still think taratino would be a serial killer if he wasn't a filmmaker
  
• “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers made me cry :( the catering bill must of been half the total budget...sorry couldn't help myself
  
• “A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers haven't seen it so i'll leave it
  
• “Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer animated gran tarnio
  
• “Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers were Eddie murphy's career is going.

so there you have it. find out if I'm proven wrong march 7th. hopefully no one takes my comments to heart really and truly like 'most' of these people on this list if you do well tough.

Moses Sseabandeke